Why “catching them being good” matters — especially for children with ADHD

Parenting a child with ADHD can sometimes feel like a long list of reminders, corrections and repeated instructions. Over time, that can become exhausting for parents and carers— and discouraging for children.

But children do not build confidence from hearing only what they are getting wrong. They build it when adults notice what they are doing well.

Positive parenting is not about ignoring difficulties or avoiding boundaries. Children still need clear expectations, routines and calm consequences. But alongside this, they also need regular, genuine recognition of their strengths.

That might mean noticing when they try hard, show kindness, stay with a task for a little longer than usual, manage a frustration, or use a strategy that helped them cope.

For children with ADHD, praise works best when it is:

Specific — “You came back to your homework even though it was hard.”

Immediate — noticed close to the moment it happened.

Genuine — not overdone, but clearly meant.

Focused on effort and progress — not just perfect outcomes.

It can also help to become a bit of a “strength detective”. What does your child enjoy? Where do they show curiosity, humour, creativity, energy, sensitivity or persistence? These strengths can easily be missed when the focus is only on behaviour, schoolwork or organisation.

Children with ADHD often receive a lot of negative feedback. Thoughtful praise does not spoil them or discount mistakes. It helps them develop self-belief, motivation and a clearer sense of who they are beyond their struggles.

Sometimes the most powerful shift is this:

Instead of only asking, “What needs correcting today?”
we can also ask, “What can I notice, name and encourage today?”

Small moments of positive attention can make a big difference.